"Comparison" has almost become an un-broadcastable swear word to my creative self.
It's a poison to artists.
It's a poison to relationships.
...but why?
Comparison will warp your perception of self-validation and your identity into a lie.
Comparison changes a person's love for creating into a love for competition.
That's it!
If "being the best in my region", or "winning the charts", or "having the most fans", or "selling the most albums" is my ultimate goal -I might as well go home, because I've already missed the point of creating art.
I'm a performer who writes songs -that's what I LOVE TO DO! I don't have any chart-busting hits, but I have a handful of songs that I'm proud of -and I have WAY more songs that are just kind of "meh"... (That's my realist side coming out)... I'm still proud of the "meh" songs -and I have recorded most of them -and trust me, I've got a HUGE backlog of unreleased jams. If it wasn't for writing the "meh" songs, I wouldn't be taking steps forward to writing the next songs I'll be proud of (It's a process, man!).
If "comparison" were to creep in and poison my well, I'd still write songs and I'd still perform... but my love would shift from performing and writing to loving the pursuit of being better than everybody else. Consequently, I'd immediately loathe any new artist I encounter because I'd view them as a potential threat. They aren't an artist -they're my competition. They're my nemesis. If they are more successful than me, that might mean they are a potential stepping stone for me to move forward (not a person... a stepping stone) -if they are unwilling to help me, I'm more bitter than I was before I met them -and somehow the success they've achieved is somehow success I've missed out on... Therefore... We're. Not. Friends.
(Hopefully, I'm not the only one that has experienced this in a "poisoned well" delusion)
Yes, I've gone through a season of "comparison" poisoning my well.
I've experienced the odd feelings of isolation in the midst of being surrounded by fellow artists.
I've experienced other artists that have had their wells poisoned by "comparison" as well.
I think this goes without saying, but:
Nobody wants to be around somebody whose only goal is to be better than everybody else.
Nobody wants to hear justifications as to why you aren't as successful as you should be.
A person who "needs" to be the best at everything is SCREAMING "desperation".
That's right. A person who "needs" to be the best at _____ has taken a risky personal choice by throwing their entire identity and all of their personal validation to the wolves.
ProTip: Yes, ratings can be helpful and exciting -but you are more than a rating.
ProTip: Art can be fulfilling, but you have more to offer than the art itself.
Here are some practical scenarios:
If my goal is to be better than every musician, what happens if I lose my voice before a show?
If my goal is to be better than every musician, what happens if I get sick?
What happens if my wife gets sick?
What happens if we have a kid?
What happens if something mangles my hands and I can't play the piano anymore?
What happens if I decide that I want to leave performing and songwriting altogether?
Here's what I'm getting at:
Your art will become more beautiful if your identity and validation are not wrapped up in it.
Your relationships with fellow-creatives will become more sincere if your art-status is not wrapped up in them.
"Identity" and "self-validation" are two HUGE topics that artists struggle with (myself included). I highly recommend spending some serious time thinking about them. Fair warning, it can be painful and it can be difficult -but what you learn about yourself afterwards is valuable.
If you're ready to go there, here are some questions to get you started down that road:
What is your name?
Who are you?
Who is your family?
Are you on good terms with your family?
If yes, how do you know?
If no, why not?
What are the names of people in your community that inspire you the most?
What about each of those people inspires you?
What drives you?
Why do each of the things you listed "drive" you?
What's your vision as an artist?
What's your vision as a human being?
What's your ultimate goal in art?
What's your ultimate goal outside of art?
What's your ultimate goal on this side of heaven?
What does "winning" look like with your art?
What does "winning" look like outside of your art?
What roles do you play outside of being an artist?
What does "winning" look like inside of those roles?
Are you currently "winning" inside of those roles?
If so, how?
If not, why?
How do those roles affect your art?
How are you making the world a more beautiful place with your art?
How are you making the world a more beautiful place outside of your art?
I hope you've found this post helpful! Have you encountered difficulty with comparison or identity? Have you overcome difficulty with comparison or identity? I look forward to hearing your comments!
Until next time,
-T.