In Part 1, we talked about how not everything is meant to persuade. In Part 2, we talked about how “credibility” is often quieter (and more reliable) than confidence. Now, I want to talk about what happens when certainty becomes a trap — and how I started to claw my way out.
🙏 Certainty Was My Security Blanket
For a long time, I clung to “knowing.” Knowing gave me structure. Certainty gave me purpose. It gave me permission to shut the door on doubts. And when I found a community that echoed all those certainties back at me? Even better.
But here’s what I’ve realized since:
Certainty is cozy… until it starts suffocating you.
Once you realize that your faith, your politics, or your purpose is being powered by fear of being wrong… it’s time to check the engine.
🧱 The Community of “Rightness”
I didn’t just want to be right — I wanted to belong to a community of people who were right together. That felt like spiritual safety. Until someone in the group started asking questions. Then came the silence. Or the passive-aggressive prayer requests. Or the quiet exile.
It’s weird how quickly Agape™ love turns conditional.
And the real kicker? The minute you leave those spaces, you become someone else’s warning story:
“Tyler lost his way.”
“Pray for him.”
“He used to be on fire for the Lord…” 🔥
(And I was! But that fire needed oxygen — and that meant making space for doubt.)
🌪️ Deconstruction Isn’t a Hobby
Nobody deconstructs their faith, politics, or worldview because they’re bored on a Friday night. Deconstruction isn’t edgy. It’s excruciating. It costs you friends. It costs you family. Sometimes it costs you an entire identity.
But it also gives you something back:
A faith you don’t have to fake.
A spirituality you don’t have to perform.
A worldview that holds space for more people, not fewer.
And if you’re lucky, it gives you your voice back.
🔍 What I Believe Now (And Why I Might Not Tomorrow)
I don’t need to be certain anymore. I need to be curious.
I don’t need to “win” conversations. I need to listen better.
I don’t need to have a “stance” on everything. I need space to breathe and grow.
And yeah… some people find that uncomfortable. When certainty is currency, people don’t know what to do with nuance.
But I’ve found peace in the unknowing. It’s not passive. It’s quietly active. Like tending a garden you’re not sure will bloom — but planting anyway.
đź’¬ Final Thought
When you stop needing to be right, you finally become open to being real.
***
👉 Part 4 coming soon — but in the meantime, I’d love to know:
Have you experienced a season of deconstruction?
Did it lead to peace? Or are you still somewhere in the middle?
You’re not alone in it. Not even close.
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