Interacting with new people can be RIDICULOUSLY stressful to creative people.
I don't think there's a word to describe the feeling of "I want droves of people to love my art... but I never ever EVER actually want to interact with any of those droves of people... EVER".
Two words:
S O C I A L
A N X I E T Y
It's okay -you're not alone!
The purpose of developing any kind of fanbase is to monetize your art. The hard truth about this one... You get to talk to strangers, you get to take social risks, and you get to put yourself in a position of rejection -a LOT!
Here's the deal, you know you're doing something right with your art when your friends and family start to get lost among strangers checking out your art.
The key is to be the intentional conversationalist:
*Approach stranger at the show* "Hey! Thanks for coming to the show -I really appreciate it!"
*Stranger replies*
*You reply* "Alright! Thanks again! Have a great rest of the night!"
Short conversations will give you a social win. NOTE: This doesn't necessarily mean that you just "made a fan", but it DOES mean that you intentionally appreciated a member of your audience -and that's a small win for you -AND a memorable experience for them (whether they liked your show or not, they'll probably remember that you came up to them and said "hi" after your show/showcase).
Why should you intentionally appreciate your audience members? If you don't, you'll either come across as stand-offish and a jerk. I know... again...
S O C I A L
A N X I E T Y
It's an easy two words to hide behind -but when you are passive, you're giving up all control of how other people experience you. Remember, this is YOUR show -so technically, you're "job" isn't over until the audience has gone home (at this point). And I'll say it again, if you don't engage your fans and just hide in the corner to avoid them, you're probably coming across as stand-offish and a jerk.
Take control and engage your audience members! When you learn to legitimately appreciate your audience members, you'll feel less and less social anxiety -but it takes time, and it takes WHOLE BUCKETS of intentional practice.
It's crucial to practice this OUTSIDE of a show/showcase setting.
Why?
If you only talk to new people in a show/showcase setting, it tends to come across as a sales pitch because you'll start talking about your next show, your Facebook page, the merch table, and all the rest.
I know you want fans and I know you want to get paid,
but people see right through that stuff, man!
So, how do you practically do this in a real life scenario?
Address the people you work with by name when you (or they) are walking by [the odds of them stopping in their tracks to "chat" with you are low].
*co-worker is walking past* "Hey ______! How's it going?"
*co-worker responds (usually with a passive "good" or "hanging in there")*
*co-worker is walking away* "Alright! Have a good rest of the day!"
Super short interaction. That's it! Small social win!
When you intentionally start and finish the conversation, that will help you determine your conversational boundaries. You can do whatever you want in that middle area... Just make sure that you're intentional about the "Hey!" and then you can close it out whenever you're ready with something like "Have a good rest of the day!".
If the conversation DOES end up in a *stop dead in their tracks and they start telling you a gut-wrenching story*, you can ALWAYS have an out with something like
"Man, I really hope things improve. It's been great talking, but I've got to get back to work".
Interacting with people doesn't have to be scary.
The unpredictability of conversation can be jarring -but it doesn't have to be scary. If whoever you're talking to makes things weird, just let them talk until you're done listening. Chances are, if they took it somewhere strange, they just need to vent about it. This can end up being a double or triple win for YOU if you endure their story/rant. They might actually be fooled into thinking that YOU were the legendary conversationalist because you let them finish their story.
PRO TIP FOR OPENING UP CONVERSATIONS:
Ask people open-ended questions about themselves and then just listen.
What's the point?
If you are able to learn how to legitimately appreciate people (in your audience), then you will slowly get out of the habit of avoiding new people. More importantly, if you train yourself to legitimately appreciate people OUTSIDE of an audience setting, you'll be less inclined to try to "pitch" things to your audience members which will in turn make them feel used.
What have conversations at your shows/showcases looked like? Any small wins, big wins, or unexpected plot twists? I'd love to hear from you!
Until next time,
-T.