Have you ever wondered who it is that gets to determine whether silence is awkward or not?
"Awkward Silence"...
Why is it awkward? Why does whoever uttered the words feel awkward? Do I have to feel awkward since they feel awkward? Can I say something like: "No, you're wrong... there's nothing wrong with this silence!"... or would that legitimately make things awkward?
If you've ever been the one to utter the words "Awkward Silence", then this one is for you. Chances are good that if you are also a performer, you've felt REALLY awkward on stage if silence has embraced you with its quiet presence.
Q: So, who gets to determine whether the silence is awkward...
A: If you're the one on the stage, and it's your show... It's YOU!
Real Life Rehearsal Tip #5 // Silence...
When was the last time you decided to just be quiet for a little while?
If you can't remember the last time, it's okay -that's actually pretty typical!
Silence is a great way to get comfortable being yourself -by yourself.
If you've never tried it, I encourage you to give it a shot:
We'll start with something more comfortable than "real life scenario-ish":
Read through these first and then give it a shot!
Set a timer for 5 minutes.
Turn the music off.
Turn the phone on silent.
Turn the tablet off.
No talking.
Lay down on your bed and look at the ceiling.
No sleeping... just look at the ceiling.
Try to clear your mind by breathing slowly in and slowly out. Do a silent slow count to 30 whilst breathing in and out.
Breathe in.
Breathe out.
Breath in.
Breathe out.
Listen to the sound of each breath.
Breathe in.
Breathe out.
Breathe in.
Breathe out.
Listen to the sounds of the room.
Do you hear a clock ticking somewhere?
What does your room sound like?
Do you hear a lawn mower droning outside?
Do you hear any wildlife outside?
Is your ceiling fan moving? If so, what does it sound like?
Are your lights on? Can you hear them humming?
What are things that you can hear?
*Close your eyes*
What does your room smell like?
Are there candles lit?
Do you burn incense?
Do you have roommates that smoke?
What does your room smell like?
Close your eyes and picture your room.
Picture the placement of objects on your dresser.
Make a mental outline of the layout of your room.
Keep your eyes closed and incorporate the sounds and smells into your mental layout of the room.
Think about the texture of the walls of the room (don't look) just try to remember with your eyes closed.
Think about the texture of the ceiling (again, don't look -keep your eyes closed).
What color are your walls?
What color is the carpet in your room?
When your timer goes off, think about the time you just spent.
What did you like about it?
What did you dislike about it?
Was it easier or more difficult than you expected?
Was there anything that you focused on in particular?
Would you spend time to do it again?
What would you like to keep thinking about (if anything)?
Was it what you were expecting?
REAL LIFE REHEARSAL:
Once you are able to be intentionally quiet for 5 minutes, try incorporating it into your day. Turn the radio off while you drive to your next destination (assuming it's a short trip) -and try not to fill the silence by talking to yourself (this might sound weird, but it can be more difficult than you might think). Use the time to sort your thoughts. Use the time to notice things around you (sights, sounds, traffic, etc).
What it all comes down to:
As a performer, "awkward" is only allowed to happen when you say that it's going to happen. Consequently, you can't be feeling awkward and be in control at the same time. The majority of the time, your temptation to feel awkward will revolve around silence -whether between songs, zero crowd response, technical difficulty, or something else. Silence is okay. I can say it a million times, but if you don't believe it for yourself, it won't do a bit of good for me to keep repeating it. If you are comfortable being silent by yourself, you'll become comfortable being silent by yourself on a stage with people watching. It's a process -and it takes time- but it will come!
As part of your show rehearsals for the next two weeks, try to take a 5 minute silence break in the middle of the set you're practicing. Sit at the piano, or sit with your guitar, or stand behind the mic for 5 whole minutes. This time, you don't need to do all of the "clear your mind" stuff from above, but challenge yourself to just "be" for 5 minutes with your instrument with you.
If you need to do this during a show, how will you stand?
What will you do with your hands?
Are you fidgeting?
Are you swaying back and forth?
Are you bouncing one of your legs? -This used to be my public speaking/nervous default-
Are your legs locked (if standing)? If so, unlock them -you don't want to faint! :-)
Give it a shot and let me know how it goes! Intentionality is everything during your rehearsal time! Remember, it's okay not to say anything in between every song when you are performing live -and the easiest way to grant yourself permission to NOT say something is to practice with a silent gap (to allow for audience response) -Slow count to ten- and then start the next song.
Until next time,
-T.