Kindness costs nothing.
Kindness costs nothing.
Kindness costs... NOTHING.
A practical offstage practice that will make you a better onstage performer, and an overall more pleasant contributor to society, is by getting in the habit of smiling and saying "thank you" to people. Saying "thank you" is not only a practice that will embed good manners into your day-to-day life, but it'll also reinforce humility, listening, and understanding. It's sad, but I have to add that saying "thank you" doesn't make you a doormat, a goody two-shoes, or a suck-up... As a matter of fact, it makes you a respectful and respectable person that others want to be around!
Often, you'll find that when people want to talk with you after your shows about your performance and/or your music. Believe it or not, it often has little to nothing to do with you -and everything to do with them! Stay with me... It's a good thing! They want to tell you a story of how your art affected their life -and that's a really beautiful thing. The easiest way that I can show them that I see them, love them, and enjoy them is by listening, smiling, and saying "thank you".
Here's some real-life scenarios:
If somebody offers me a compliment...
*smile* and say: "Thank you."
If somebody offers me constructive feedback...
*smile* and say: "Thank you."
If somebody does a favor for me...
*smile* and say: "Thank you."
If somebody hands me something when I'm working on a project...
*smile* and say: "Thank you."
If somebody buys me lunch...
*smile* and say: "Thank you."
If somebody buys me a drink...
*smile* and say: "Thank you."
If somebody offers me unsolicited advice on how I should be more like them...
*smile* and say: "Thank you."
When somebody tells me that I remind them of themselves -because they are able to work a crowd that is three times the size of who showed up that night...
*smile* and say: "Thank you."
When my waiter brings me the correct order after messing it up four times... I'll still tip...
*smile* and say: "Thank you."
After standing in line at the DMV for 45 minutes to have my license renewed -and I'm finally at the front and I'm tired, frustrated, and ready to go home... turn around...
*smile* and say: "Thank you."
When service at any given fast-food or restaurant chain is lousy because inexperienced and immature young people are blatantly ignoring me... after they take my order...
*smile* and say: "Thank you."
When somebody says that I'm an inspiration to them...
*smile* and say: "Thank you."
When I receive feedback that's constructive but still kind of hurts...
*smile* and say: "Thank you."
When somebody cuts me off in traffic and it makes me so angry that I start uttering unspeakable phrases... I pause and think of "The Passing Lane"...
*smile* and say: "Thank you."
It's a short and simple phrase with a vast variety of meanings depending on the context. It's two-fold really... It's kind (in the proper context), it will protect you from saying something you'll regret (in a hostile or tense context), and it's also a social indicator that you're finished with a conversation and ready to move on. At your shows, most people will offer kind words, compliments, and encouraging stories. Unfortunately, there are also times where people can be straight up mean -or even worse... well-intentioned, but comes across mean (back-handed compliments). Part of being an artist is developing a thick skin, but there is a fine line between having a thick skin and becoming perpetually cynical. Remember that not all feedback is good feedback -and an easy way to acknowledge helpful, well-intentioned, or completely useless feedback is by smiling and saying "thank you". Responding and not reacting to negative feedback at your shows requires a LOT of self control -and that's why it's important to practice in real life!
If saying "thank you" becomes habitual, your capacity to experience true gratitude will increase drastically.
*smiles* -Thank you for reading my blog!
Until next time,
-T.